Umbrellas, Kebabs, and Saveloys, What Next is the Question?
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katharynne
anadapta0801  and I hypothesised, the other evening, that Sherlock has most likely tried and tested all illicit substances known to man out of sheer curiosity and boredom. We then wondered what he'd be like on the more 'modern' drugs, since heroin is apparently out for this reboot. Then this happened.

Now available in two delicious forms - Watson blog entry (a la www.johnwatsonblog.co.uk), or a transcribed version if the format hurts your eyes. We don't blame you.

WARNING: The image is MASSIVE. Load at your own risk. Formatting was courtesy of a sanity-defying feat by anadapta0801 because she is excellent that way.

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And the transcript:
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Explain yourself, young lady.
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katharynne
WARNING WARNING HERE THERE BE TEXT

This was originally posted at my cobwebby deviantart, but I have been advised to add it to eljay, because it is apparently "eljay-ey". So I fear I must oblige.

I mean, it does explain in rantful fashion what I've actually been doing for the best part of a year, so.

I shall cut it because I realise that not everybody wants to know about MAH LIEF and BAWW ART SCHOOL IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED and HYARHYAR LOOK AT MY SUPERIORITY/INFERIORITY COMPLEXES.

I would not be who I am today if it were not for capslock.

Here I am, head bowed in contrition, trying to explain why exactly I have dropped off the face of the earth for the best part of a year.Collapse )

Oh, and for those who couldn't stomach the entire thing, here's the teal deer version:

FUCK ART SCHOOL, FUCK EVERYONE, IT'S A YEAR LATER, I'M MAYBE A BIT WISER, AND I'M FINALLY DOING ARTS AGAIN.


The Curious Life and Times of Messrs Strange&Charm, Gentleman Investigators of Paranormal Phenomena.
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katharynne
THAT TITLE. SO LONG. DOESN'T FIT ON YOUTUBE.

THE FILM. ON YOUTUBE. FINALLY IS. AKFDJSKDA.

It took four and a half hours to upload.


And I am physically unable to watch it any more.


What I would do sexually to Ben Barnes.
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katharynne
Dorian Gray.

DORIAN GRAY.

How can a film be that bad? How?
And how can I still enjoy it?

Let me tell you, it is a simple reason:

Ben Barnes has sex with everyone.

When he is not doing so, he is wearing fancy fine well-buttoned coats and waistcoats that show off his girlish waspish waist.

When he is not doing that, he is looking sad and tortured and as full of woe as a kitten in a bucket.

And even when he's standing around looking blankly pretty, he still has the damn fine mane of hair, all pantene-ad shiny and healthy and full of volume.

...I seem to have got distracted there. ANYWAY. It is just. Wow. I ended up going on a whim, and expected it to be a) trashy, b) awful, c) attempting to be edgy, and 4) TOTALLY RADICAL AWESOME YOU GUYS. It was all of these things. It just defined "so bad, it's good". During the film I spent most of my time trying not to laugh, rolling my eyes in my finest teenage-girl fashion most ironically, or leaning over to my fellow viewer to mutter comments along the lines of "aww, he's so pretty with his pretty face" and "he's getting it on with a bloke! Brilliant! I love this film!" At the end I burst into a fit of hysterical laughter that lasted around ten minutes, left me gasping for air, and shrieking over just how terriblawesome it was. In the crowded cinema. I do not care if I seemed rude, that was the only reaction I could have had and I am shocked and amazed that more people were not in hysterics. It was comedy genius. There is one scene where, spliced together, there are images of polite society folk taking tea, and images of a SEXY SEXY VICTORIAN S&M SEX PARTY WITH TATTOOISTS. They were trying to be WITTY and SUBVERSIVE and the entire thing just looked like a parody. Next time I'm bringing a hipflask full of gin, and I will drink for every sex scene, and every time Ben Barnes looks pretty but vaguely confused, and every time he dons a new coat, and I will get thoroughly drunk and have to be escorted off the premises.

...Thinking about it, it would actually be very difficult to parody the film, it does such a good job itself. I knew I was going to love it after Dorian gets propositioned by rent boys within the first ten minutes of the thing.

...OH IT WAS SO BAD. ♥

As scenery/costume/Ben Barnes' naked form porn, however, it was bloody brilliant. Costumes, costumes, 'artful' nudity, COSTUMES. Even if the characters didn't speak/act/look like Victorians, at least they had the clothes, eh?

Mmm, clothes. Cravats. Top hats. Oh my. I think I need to go to wikipedia's history of western costume pages RIGHT NOW.


(no subject)
Scotty rock
katharynne
Life lesson: When measuring garments in the quality control department all day standing up, make sure you're not standing on a freshly-sprained ankle. The results may be amusing and intriguing, but will also give you the sensation of dozens of tiny fire ants biting the inside of your flesh as they groove away in a disco where the sound is turned up too loud and is making your foot throb rhythmically.

You know, hypothetically.

What's that coming over the hill? Is it an icon?
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katharynne

WELL HELLO THERE BATCH THREE.

My iconmaking is still going strong, it seems.

As usual, Star Trek isn't mine, credit if you like 'em, and they should all be the right size for eljay. Magic.

#50 is iconned from ZIS.


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(no subject)
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katharynne
More icons! Again, some are animated. Madness.

Disclaimer as usual: If I owned anything to do with Star Trek, I'd have to have a time machine. And I don't. So I don't.
Quote on #12 shamelessly ripped off from 'friends'. And I am not sorry. #32 is from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream', because I are literary.
I'm only cruel because I love it.

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(no subject)
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katharynne
Star Trek: Not mine.
Crack and any brainless photoshopping: All mine.

Have some TOS icons! Some of them are even animated! I hope they do not displease, and apologise for any loss of brain cells.

Please credit if you decide to use them. It's what Captain Kirk would do. Or maybe Scotty. I get the feeling that Kirk'd just steal an icon and run away.


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(no subject)
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katharynne
If one more person tries to defend their use of gay as pejorative slang because it's 'just a word', I may be forced to STAB THEM IN THE FACE.

(no subject)
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katharynne
I just made up a new sandwich!

Hooray!

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